xXx - Return of Xander Cage Movie Review (Spoiler Free)
More action, extremer stunts, ridiculous one-liners, the return of Vin Diesel & a worse movie. Welcome to the “Xander Zone” 2.0.
Genre: Action/Comedy/Thriller
Director: Rob Cohen
Cast: Vin Diesel, Donnie Yen, Deepika Padukone, Ruby Rose, Tony Jaa, Kris Wu, Michael Bisping, Rory McCann, Toni Collette, Nina Dobrev, Hermione Corfield, Al Sapienza, Ice Cube, Neymar & Samuel L. Jackson.
Run Time: 107 min.
US Release: 20 January 2017
UK Release: 19 January 2017
German Release: 19 January 2017 Here it is, the much awaited third sequel to the two previous xXx blockbusters, with original extreme-sports rebel Xander Cage returning to the Triple X programme. The trailer promised more one-liners, faster-paced action sequences, and crazier stunts and while we obtained all that, the two segments that were left behind are the story and the entertaining value. I never expected this to be a marvellous or mind-blowing action spectacle but I did hope for a stupid, yet entertaining flick such as the first one, which I could add to my movie collection. Return of Xander Cage, though, is incredibly disappointing and bad.
If you read my previous review, you will know that even though I don’t consider the first xXx to be a good movie, it still manages to entertain me and is one of my guilty pleasure films. The first sequel that starred Ice Cube instead of Vin Diesel… well, let’s just say that State of the Union wasn’t the worst movie I saw in 2005, although it did get very close to being it. When Vin Diesel’s return was announced for a third part, I had mixed feelings about it but was secretly looking forward to seeing this blockbuster and being amused just as in old times.
So what is the story? The Triple X programme is now a successful running NSA project and director Gibbons (Jackson) is recruiting sports stars into the agency to become US spies. When the terrorist Xiang (Yen) steals a dangerous device only known as “Pandora’s Box”, Xander Cage (Diesel) must return from his self-imposed exile to recruit a team that is able to stop Xiang and his men. Not all is as it seems though and Cage’s rebellious attitude starts to worry his new handler (Collette).
The plot itself is very simple and not hard to follow, including a twist in the third act that makes little sense but justifies a big action scene, and yet this film manages to miss for what it is going by miles. Instead of a fun and simple blockbuster, xXx 3 contains head scratching moments and such incredibly ridiculous action segments, making it impossible to look away and not doubt what you just saw on screen. The story contains inconsistencies to both previous movies and leaves other questions unanswered, such as why Xander left in the first place and faked his own death. Then there is also the fact that it constantly switches from being mindless enjoyment to suddenly taking itself way too serious. The components in this blockbuster simply aren’t that well balanced.
But the biggest and most annoying flaw it has, is that instead of telling a story of its own xXx - Return of Xander Cage is constantly beating the viewer over the head by trying to building these films into a franchise a-la Fast and Furious. There is not a single moment in its runtime where a line from one of the precursor flicks isn’t retold, or a clue isn’t left open for a possible sequel and that is simply tiring. This also leads me to the bland and incredibly flat dialogues; there isn't one conversation that doesn’t sound self-important or over bloated and the one-liners are delivered terrible by Vin Diesel. I never expected Oscar-worthy conversations or monologues, but this is a new level of cheesy.
Vin Diesel surely isn’t the best actor in Hollywood but he always had a lot of charisma when being on film. This movie manages to flush his likeability down the toilette and makes his character insufferably annoying. Xander Cage’s ego is dominating this movie and it is hard to root for him because he is constantly behaving like an jerk. Deepika Padukone plays Cage’s new love interest and Xiang’s semi-partner Serena. She does not have much to do except look sexy with weapons and compared to Asia Argento, Padukone has no chemistry with Diesel, which makes their romance feel sort of forced.
Donnie Yen is the silver lining in this action disaster, his fighting scenes look believable and Yen himself has a charming presence on screen. His character Xiang is driven by his own moral code and that makes me root for his character. Toni Collette is cast as Jane Marke, Gibbons replacement as well as the new handler for the original Triple X; she is all right but didn’t really blow me away and the 180º turn her character makes in the last act makes little to no sense. Samuel L. Jackson is barely present in this movie, probably because he realised the crap this script really is. His character does pull off a Nick Fury in this one, though, which is all I am going to say about the character of Augustus Gibbons.
The cinematography & stunt work are the best parts of this movie. The picture is sharp and makes use of strong, vibrant colours that are gorgeous to look at and the stunts and fights look really good for the most part. There are a couple of scenes that make use of quick cuts, but other than that the camerawork is what saves this action flick from being a complete catastrophe. The effects are also nice and enhance the battle scenes, especially the big fight at the end.
Verdict: In the end, the third Triple-X is a huge disappointment, as it did not even manage to do the simple thing it was meant to do, which is to entertain! The story is laughable and incoherent with its predecessors, expecting the viewer to suspend all disbelief and simply accept the absurd and impossible stunts and fights displayed on screen. The dialogues are so over-the-top, cheesy, and presumptuous that it is barely tolerable, while the characters are shallower than the personas in a late 80’s/early 90’s action flicks. Vin Diesel is robbed of his likeability and all you are left with is Xander Cage, the biggest douchebag in action history. Diesel has barely any chemistry with Deepika Padukone and it is never explained what happened to Yelena. The only redeemable aspect of this dumb action movie is its cinematography, the stunt work and Donnie Yen. xXx 3: Return of Xander Cage, is abysmal and I can’t recommend it to anyone! I am giving it a 3.5 out of 10.
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