Tonight You're Sleeping With Me (Dzisiaj śpisz ze mną) - Spoiler Free Movie Review

What happens when soap drama-like quality meets the toxicity of the 50 Shades trilogy, minus the nudity? You’ll find the answer in my review below…

Original Title: Dzisiaj śpisz ze mną

Genre: Drama / Romance

Director: Robert Wichrowski

Cast: Roma Gąsiorowska, Maciej Musiał, Wojciech Zieliński, Małgorzata Mikołajczak, Ewa Wencel, Jacek Koman, Jadwiga Żurawska, Magdalena Groszek & Karolina Porcari.

Run Time: 93 min.

US Release: 01 March 2023 (Netflix)

UK Release: 01 March 2023 (Netflix)

Polish Release: 01 March 2023 (Netflix)

German Release: 01 March 2023 (Netflix)

Five years ago, I was hoping I would never ever have to watch another Fifty Shades flick ever again. There is nothing harder than writing a detailed review of a movie that is so utterly boring, with nothing actually happening in it! When scrolling through new releases on Netflix, I stumbled on this Polish production, and even though I had the worst notion about it, I still went through watching it. What I did not expect, is to sit through a ninety-minute dull imitation of the horrible adaptations, based on the dreadful E.L. James novels. Anyway, let's get going with everything that is wrong with Tonight You’re Sleeping With Me.

Nina, a journalist who is stuck in a loveless marriage, is suddenly confronted with a choice. Stay with her distant but loving husband and her two daughters, or rekindle her passion-filled relationship, with her younger ex-boyfriend who has re-entered her life.

This is easily the most lacklustre story about three people stuck in a love triangle. It contains a soap opera-quality screenplay, stretched to an hour-and-a-half of runtime, with literally nothing happening at all, as everyone ends up where they have been at the beginning! It is simply infuriating, as well as disrespectful to the audience! There is simply no whatsoever for this film to exist.

It does feel like a watered-down, PG-13, Fifty Shades spin-off, without all the nudity. The connection between characters is lazily written, with the romantic facets having no spark or heat. It's a lame love tale about an unhappy married woman, making occasional googly eyes with her much younger new colleague. The worst, however, is the toxic relationship in that love triangle. Though not physically abusive, the main character is being ‘tortured’ psychologically by her husband, who is the most ignorant guy. Then there is her ex-boyfriend, who is basically stalking her to win her back.

The dialogue is no better! I originally saw it in Polish with subtitles, however, I switched a couple of times to English dub, as I wanted to see if it sounds any better. Both versions are overdramatic, sounding far-fetched. Conversations are incredibly tacky, especially when talking about love, which is sickeningly gooey.

Generally, all performances by the complete cast are passionless, containing no chemistry whatsoever. Everyone is walking around with a terribly bored face, and when somebody laughs or cries, it feels forced. It does seem like it's a simple paycheck job for the actors.

Nina, portrayed by Roma Gąsiorowska, is the most interesting of the characters, yet that ain't saying much, as all three leads are criminally underdeveloped. Director Wichrowski tries to compensate for this, by showing us flashbacks from Nina and Janek’s former relationship, but those are mundane, as well as oddly implemented. Nina needs to balance being a journalist, mother, just like a daughter herself, all while being stuck in a cold marriage. She shows the worst decision-making because instead of talking to her husband, she goes on flirting with her ex, who is her new employee.

Having said that, her husband Maciek, played by Wojciech Zieliński, is no better. He runs off for month-long vacations on his own, running away from his duties as a family man, simply to avoid responsibility. He is incredibly selfish, as well as unlikeable. Everything he does, serves to drive the lead into Janek’s arms.

Finally, we have Janek, Nina’s ex-boyfriend, who wedges his way into her life, by applying for a job with her as his direct superior. He immediately starts to make inappropriate moves, or comments, with the decision to break up a family, simply to win her back after dumping her.

The only positive aspect the film has, is the great cinematographical look! Not only does the imagery look sharp, but the colour palette changes, depending on who Nina is with. In scenes with her husband, the shades are cold plus sterile, while in segments where she spends time with Janek, the hue is much warmer, making use of golden tints. This is also true of the different locations presented. Her home contains a lot of white and metal, while Janek is much more into nature (wood).

Effect-wise, there isn’t much to talk about, since nothing is happening on screen. The second half of the runtime switches locations between Poland and Iceland. There are flashback scenes in which an obvious wig is used to give the lead a different hairstyle. Other than that, the wardrobe suits the setting.

The music, composed by Maciej Zielinski, is as dull as the premise itself, making use of simple piano tunes. Popular Polish pop songs are intertwined, to underline some emotional situations.

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Verdict: It is legitimately baffling to me how romances like these are kept being made. Similar polish movies were released in the last couple of years with the 365 Days trilogy, also distributed by Netflix, and were complete rip-offs of the Fifty Shades franchise. The romance feels forced, with displayed relationships being toxic, sending the wrong message to young teenage girls. In the case of Dzisiaj śpisz ze mną it also has no heat, as sex scenes are only insinuated to keep it PG-friendly. The plot is uninspired as literally, nothing is happening, the whole love triangle leads nowhere, plus the romance has no chemistry. It looks and feels like an overlong episode of some cheesy soap opera! The dialogues are sickenly kitschy with no real emotions since the actors have no inspiration to perform in this romantic drama. The only interesting part is the cinematography, which is competently handled. This Netflix release is garbage! A 2.0 out of 10.

Honest opinion, don’t waste your time with this cheap PG-13, Fifty Shades knock-off! Don’t even waste your time with the original. These pictures send terrible messages to young women! Thank you for reading & if you like the content, subscribe!